Uncertain Steps

Tennis legend, Andre Agassi committed over 3 decades of his life to becoming the best tennis player in the world and yet, in his book, “Open,” he describes how much he hated tennis.

He didn’t like sports at all…but he HATED tennis!

His father was obsessed with making him the best tennis player in the world:

• building a tennis court in their backyard that Andre referred to as his “cell”
• forcing him to practice hour after hour against “the dragon”
• sparing no expense at getting him the best instruction in the world, even at the price of sending him away to Florida at a young age

And yet, Andre continued to insist that he absolutely hated the game of tennis.

As parents, we can sit and point a finger at Mike Agassi and condemn him. How could he be so demanding? How could he not recognize how much his son hated what he was doing?

As portrayed in this book, Mike Agassi was certainly extreme, but plenty of us do similar things.  We want the best for our children as they become adults. We want them to be “successful.” We just may be a little more subtle in how we go about it.

In some cases we want them to be just like us:

• expect them to follow in our footsteps
• take over the family business
• get that Ivy League education that we have
• push, drive, and strive just like we have

Others may want something totally different for their kids:

• doctors who don’t want their kids going into healthcare because of what they’ve experienced
• parents who failed to get a college degree who almost demand that from their kids
• even Andre and his wife, Stephie Graf, insist that their kids won’t have a career in tennis

So…what is our role as parents as our teenagers begin to think about the future?

We encourage them to actively explore and expose themselves to as many new and different experiences as possible.

We help them become aware of things about themselves that they may have taken for granted or not recognized.

We allow them to see other perspectives than their own, or even our own.

But sometimes what we see as talents and skills don’t all match perfectly with their interests and passions.   Sometimes the values that we directly or indirectly tried to instill in our children don’t become THEIR value system.

Ultimately, THEY have to make the decision.

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