Previous posts have discussed the importance of parents communicating certain things to our teenagers regarding their future:
For many parents, including me, “communicate” usually means WE talk, they listen. That’s how it has always been. We know best.
Without a doubt, adults do have significant life experiences to convey to our children. But teens aren’t open or receptive to hear those messages until they feel that we understand what is important to THEM.
We THINK we know what’s best for them. We THINK we know them better than they know themselves. In some ways, that might be true. But we don’t know some of their biggest dreams or even what they might feel passionate about. We don’t know their deepest fears and concerns about the future. Why? Because they are afraid of being judged or having to sit through another one of our lectures.
The best we can do for our children at this crucial stage of their life is to ask questions and then LISTEN. Not just patiently waiting for our turn to talk. Actually hearing what they are saying and, as much as possible, understanding how they feel.
Over time, this communication builds trust. The depth of conversation increases. They begin to seek guidance rather than having it pushed on them.
…easier said than done!
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