Uncertain Steps

(I’m sure my daughter is going to want to disown me when she sees a headline like this…but hold on, it’s not all bad!)

As you can see, I’m quite late getting this post published.  I got caught up in the devastating effects of the hurricane in Haiti and have been trying to put together a plan to help some of the orphans there.  This was a major problem before the earthquake but for whatever reason I stayed relatively focused on my own little world until now.  This disaster has somehow hit me differently.

The media has covered many amazing stories of people pulling together to help.  One story that I found particularly amazing was that of Charlie Simpson.  A 7 year old boy from west London. After seeing the conditions in Haiti, he decided to raise money by getting people to sponsor him in a 5 mile bike ride.  His goal?  Raise £500 (roughly $800.)

Here’s a short video from a local news station documenting Charlie’s efforts…

Instead of raising $800, the last I heard he had raised over $240,000.  The exact dollar amount isn’t important.  It wouldn’t have mattered if Charlie would have fallen short of his goal or not.  What’s most impressive is the fact that this young boy saw a need and found a way that he could make a difference.

When you read stories like this (and there are many others long before the Haiti earthquake) it makes you wonder what makes them different.  Why do some young people almost inadvertently have an impact on others far bigger than they ever could have imagined, and others seem to be perfectly satisfied filling every waking hour with texting and Facebook?  (And yes, my daughter is one of them that indulges in this.)

But before we place judgment on our kids and label them as disinterested and unmotivated, we should look at what is behind some of these stories of remarkable achievement.   In most amazing stories about young people doing incredible things for others, there no doubt is a young person with incredible awareness and insight to recognize the need and their potential for making a difference.  But…there is typically a parent or another person that supports this desire to help.   Whether it’s Charlie Simpson or others, they don’t do it alone.  They usually have someone that nurtures this idea and supports them.

As I began to realize the importance of this support and encouragement I began to wonder how many opportunities I’ve had to nurture something similar. Not necessarily something big and news worthy, but little hints of an interest or a concern.

Unfortunately I don’t have to think back too far.

My oldest daughter was very moved by the devastation in Haiti and the condition of the orphanages and immediately we began discussing ways we could help.  When many of our efforts were hindered by government regulations, I became somewhat discouraged and got distracted by other things.  She, on the other hand, began to talk about something that COULD be done … raise money for more tents.  She talked about this everyday and began to take steps to make it happen.

As I look back, I listened but I fell far short of “fanning the flames.”  There was so much I could have done or said to encourage her, guide her, and support her.  But I didn’t.  I gave some feedback when it was asked for.  I gave a little “off the cuff” advice, whether it was asked for or not.  I was extremely proud of what she was doing but made no attempts to have deeper conversation about what it was that has moved her to take action.

I wonder how many other opportunities I’ve missed to encourage her to follow her interests (however big or small) or things that she is in some way passionate about.

She came home a couple weeks ago and was all excited about the impact their booth made at the Farm and Home Show.  As part of TATU (Teens Against Tobacco Use) they showed real lungs that had been effected by smoking.  She was so excited about the impact this had on others and how busy they were.  She really felt some people may make a change because of what they had done.

Once again, I listened.  Atleast with one ear.  I had other things on my mind.  Caught up in my own world and missed another opportunity at nurturing something she was passionate about.

….then there was the mission trip she returned home from very excited about what they had done.

I better stop with that one as I’m sure the list is quite long.

How many chances are you missing to connect with your children on things that interest them?